Falling Down and Facing Grace...

At the beginning of last week, four eager college interns arrived in the Czech Republic to spend three to six weeks working with our team. This was a comfort to me as at the end of last week we said to good-bye to short-term, but soon-to-be career, missionary Jen. It was sad for her to leave but we all know that God is already working out the details for her return. The interns are four really solid and passionate girls who are so excited to be serving the Lord here and extremely willing to do whatever needs to be done. I know that God has huge plans for them here and for their personal lives. I am looking forward to getting to know them better and working with them while they are here.

Emily, Alex, Brittany, and Katie

The week has been super busy with activities, ministries, and orientation sessions filling up our days. Though the girls brought a positive energy and excitement to the team, I have personally struggled with the strength and the motivation just to get through each day. My prayers since I first arrived in March have continually been for God to grow me, stretch me, and use me in any way possible during my time here. I did not want to let this opportunity go by without doing all I can for the work of the Lord to see His Glory revealed. And as God is always faithful He has answered these prayers and begun working in my heart and my life. Unfortunately, this means that on several occasions I have fallen flat on my face in complete and utter failure. No one likes to fail, and especially a competitive person such as myself. I like to do things in the best possible way and I like to succeed at what I do. However, I don't always live up to my own expectations. These are prime opportunities for the devil to slip in and whisper doubt in our ears and cause us to slip further away. As much I wanted to fight against this, it was easier to give in. And we all know that many times the easier road is the one most traveled. As much as I strive to be the best, I can never reach that accolade because partly my focus is on the wrong goal. It is not my goal to please people, to please the team or the workers around me necessarily. This ministry is not about me and the work that I do here. It is about God and the people here getting the chance to hear about His saving grace. God is certainly testing me and though I fall, He has never left me and continues to pick me up every day. I am so thankful for a Sovereign God that understands when we don't reach the bar and shows us grace at our most undeserving moments. After a group devotion this morning, I was reminded that pleasing God will in turn please those around us who are working towards the same goal. As it has been most famously spoken, "He must increase, but I must decrease."

"I want to hid in You
The Way, the Life, the Truth
So I can disappear
And love is all there is to see
Coming out of me
And You become clear
As I disappear."

-Bebo Norman

Today was a day of several "first" - and successful ones I might add - so it has been a very encouraging day!

Two of my "firsts" had to do with our weekly Ladies Prayer Meeting, a time when the ladies from the church get together at someone's home and pray together. Hence the name, obviously. Only a few women attend but Brenda and I try to go every week if we can. Well, today Brenda was not able to go because of a doctor's appointment so I was on my own. I had never gone anywhere by myself since I have been here, especially driving somewhere. But I needed to go and spend time with Jitka before she moves and I have missed the last three weeks. I was determined to let any more lost opportunities slip by. I called Brenda to get directions and I wrote everything down. I was running late so I jumped in the car and took off. I safely made it to her apartment without any tickets, accidents, or deportations and I was so excited as I headed upstairs (twelve flights of stairs mind you) for my second "first."

I had never gone to an event or spent time with the locals without Jen or the Barnes so I was a little nervous. Two women were there and only Jitka spoke English. But it was a really nice time and she had no problem translating to Lydia. It was very encouraging to talk with them and have them pray for my needs and to be able to pray for them. We played with their kids and laughed about little Jonas' faces. I am so glad that I went and got to spend that time with them, especially since Jitka is leaving. I smiled as I pulled away, realizing that I could this on my own and that God was already answering my prayers.

My last "first" was part of my resolutions to get active again. Yesterday I walked but today I decided to pick up the pace and I ran for about 3 km. This is approximately 1.8 miles and that may not seem like much but this is the "first" I have ran in about six months. Of course, this is not counting when I ran to the bus stop trying to catch the bus into town. But that is a whole other story.

But it was such an encouraging day and I was very pleased with the fact that I pushed myself in different areas. I pray that God will keep encouraging me to push my limits and that I will not say no.

Peace Be Still...

After a fairly stressful day of designing and staring at a computer screen, I needed a break. My great intentions of running while I have been here fell pretty short after I left my running shoes in the States and opted for Facebook-ing. But during my "furlough" I remembered to pack them and today I dusted them off, cranked up my IPod, and headed out the door to unwind.
The village that I live in is really quiet and peaceful, especially later in the evening. It was about 8:20pm but it doesn't get dark until about 9:30, which I love. Out of the front gate I headed right which meant I was going away from the town and toward the next one. A few minutes down the road, past the houses and barking dogs there was nothing but fields and grass. Off in the distance you could see Ceske Budejovice.
The road was really narrow and made me nervous as cars sped by so I didn't go very far. I turned around and went through a neighborhood, looking for a trail that Jen had taken me on before. Walking down the trail I took advantage of the fact that there was no one around and started singing out loud to my music. At one point I stopped and turned around and saw the city way out in the distance past the fields. I saw a city with so many opportunities and people to reach but I also saw so many lost opportunities. In the middle of the path began to talk to God and pray that my attitude would change and that I would make a positive difference toward this city. Over the past couple of weeks my spirit had begun to weaken and discouragement came more easily. I usually like to work really hard and accomplish more than I have time for. But lately it has been really hard when I don't feel like I am doing my best and it is even harder when I am trying to keep up with missionaries around me who are so strong and solid in their ministry here. I let the stress and the uncertainty of the summer overwhelm me. Standing there I knew I had to stop thinking about myself and start focusing on what was really important. God brought me here for a reason and I knew He would provide everything I needed to accomplish the task He set before me. There are so many ways to reach out here and too little time to worry about little things. The walk was so refreshing and it was just what I needed after a long day of inside work. I pray that I can focus on the relationships that need to be built and the ways that I can contribute to this ministry. Please join me in this prayer as well.

"Don't tell your God how big your storm is, tell your storm how big your God is."

A Weekend of Good-Byes...

This was a strange weekend as we have begun to say good-bye to several important people, both here and at home. First my landlords threw a surprise party for my roommate Jen, who will be leaving next week. She has decided to go career with ABWE Czech and will go home for a year, hopefully no longer, to raise support and then will return here full-time. She will focus on English, MK education, women's ministry, and church planting. Jen has been here in Czech for two years and has not been back to the States since she first arrived in 2006. She has been an amazing friend and missionary during this time and I know so many people are sad to see her go. But the Lord is bringing her back in His perfect timing. I know I will miss her greatly as I don't know when i will see her again - until one day when we are in Heaven together. She has been instrumental in helping me adjust to life here and showing me everything I needed to know from grocery shopping to riding the bus to simple language. Most importantly she has been a friend who I can talk with, pray with, and laugh with. Jen has an amazing heart and a selfless giving spirit that I know God will use in so many unique ways here. The party Saturday night was a true testimony to how Jen has impacted lives and hearts here.

At the church Sunday we had a barbeque for a dear couple, Jitka and Dalibor Novak, who will be moving to another area of Czech to begin a ministry. They have a beautiful baby boy named Jonas, who is only a few months old but already active and alert! I have gotten to know Jitka during my time here through the Ladies Prayer Time and she is a very sweet woman who really loves the Lord. Dalibor is an elder at the church who has been a strong leader since the beginning of the church plant. I know this family will be an amazing light to their new city and I pray that they reach a whole new area with the Gospel. God gave us a beautiful afternoon and everyone stayed around as we ate barbeque and enjoyed the fellowship and sun. Now, when I was first told that we were having a barbeque, I got so excited - I was thinking about pulled pork and barbeque sauce and potato salad. But of course, we are in Europe and not even barbeque is different - "it is not same" as they say! Instead of pulled pork sandwiches we enjoyed bratwurst and sausages! It was very good though! And now I have had European barbeque! But even the food could not hide the Novak's expressions of sadness as they prepared to say good-bye. Dalibor will move next week to start his job but Jitka will go later on in June after their apartment sells - so we get to enjoy her a little while longer!

Finally, back at Southside my church family said their good-byes to our amazing worship pastor and his family. Since I knew I would not be there for the final Sunday, I had to say good-bye when I was home a few weeks ago. I know this was a bittersweet Sunday for Southside, as Bryan and Teresa will be hugely missed and impossible to replace. But we know and trust that God is bringing them into a new chapter in their lives and we cannot stand in the way of His plans. Bryan has an incredible voice and has blown me away with what he has done with the choir. I would definitely have to say that worship time at Southside is one of absolute favorite times. I have also had the privilege of getting to know him as a staff member and he is definitely one of the encouragers on our team! Teresa has been a huge benefit to the women's ministry and a dear friend to many. And their children are an outstanding example of kindness and respect. I have really enjoyed this family and the impact that they have had on our church family. I pray that God will bless their new ministry as well and that their new church family will realize the gift they have been given in this family!

Saying good-bye is never easy or enjoyed but is necessary to life. People come and go and it is the marks that they leave in our hearts that make us who we are. Rather than dwelling on the sadness of their departure I thank God for the time that I had with them and the friendship they provided. I pray that God carries them to this next chapter and maybe one day our paths will cross again, maybe even on this side of Heaven.

Even Joyful Noise is Music to Me...

Today was a blessing in several different ways. First of all, the sun came out bright and beaming today - and no I am not making a reference to the newest American Idol! God had a beautiful day awaiting us when we stepped out of Praise Team practice and boy were we excited to see that yes the sky is in fact blue, not gray! Practice went really well and we even had a new member show up. She is one half of a new couple in our church, Jon and Jona (pronounced "Yon" and "Yona"). They are a great young couple who are so excited to be involved in the church and to get to new us. This is unusual for a Czech but I love it because this is what I am accustomed to. Plus, it is great to see a family so excited for Christ and ready to step into different ministries.
So Jona practiced with us and we learned several new songs. Of course, every song is new to me but I am getting better at pronouncing the words. And today, as a part of my blessings, Petr told us what the songs meant. That helped so much because it added depth to what we were going to be singing and it allowed us to really worship. I didn't remember everything but I remembered the basic point of the song. Worship to me is not just singing a song - at home at Southside, for example, I get lost in our worship time. It excites me and I sing louder than you can imagine while I forget about everyone around me and for a few moments I am singing praises to my God. Just me and Him and no one else around as I am able to freely express, in beautiful prose, just how amazing He is. I don't lead worship at home and it is safe to say that singing is not one of my God given talents. But there was a need and for the time I am filling it. So, being on the other side of the congregation is already a challenge for me - and then when you add another language to sing in it becomes even less of a worship time to me. I am so focused on saying the words right, it is all I can concentrate on. And most times I have no idea what the song is saying. Yes, I know it is about God and a praise to Him but does it really mean anything when you don't know what you are saying? But when Petr told us what they meant I was able to focus not as much on singing it the right way but on really singing to God. The first few weeks, I so missed our English worship and you cannot realize how vital it is to your moral until you have to do without it. Even fifteen minutes of having to stand and sing in church is an amazing blessing to missionaries all over the world who have a hard time being fed themselves in their regions. Looking around Sunday, I saw that I was not the only one starting to lose myself in the worship. For the first time, I saw Czechs truly worshiping the Lord. Though just a few, it showed me that our work here is not in vain. Even with an out of tune American leading worship, they were starting to get the picture. They were starting to understand what we are on this earth to do.


We actually sing several songs that are English praise and worship that were translated to Czech. I think you might recognize this one:

Pojd´, ted´ je ten cˇas jej chválit,

pojd´, své srdce můžeš Králi dát.

Pojd´, ted´ je ten cˇas jej chválit,

pojd´, před Králem svým ted´ můžeš stat,

pojd´.

Jednou každý jazyk vyzná, že jsi Pán,

každý jednou se pokloní,

navždý slavný poklad zůstává nám,

kdo tê milují!

What News Do You Want First?

Well, I have some good news and some bad news. Normally people want the bad news first so I will give you that and then I will lift you up with my good news. So, the bad news is that the sun has not come out for almost a week here. Last week was perfect summer weather - warm sun, clear skies, and capri pants and flip flops! But for some reason, Sunday brought the gloom and it has not lifted since. To boot, it has turned back to winter! To go to town the other day, I actually had to wear a scarf and gloves. Since the sun is literally the source of warmth here, it has been greatly missed, especially after coming from blazing hot GA weather. Every day has been rain and dark clouds and I'm not just talking about the weather. Where are you sun?

And now for the good news...

The sun came out today though in the form of a tall dark haired rocker who was just named our new "American Idol!" My roommate and I could care less about the weather today as we sat hunched over a computer watching a taped "American Idol" over the Internet (thanks to Ron's parents) and anxiously awaited the results. Being Cook fans from the beginning we were biting our nails wondering what the outcome would be. With Archuletta favored to win, we feared the worst but still hoped for the best. Cook was our man and as soon as we heard the first consonant of his last name the jumping and screaming began. In my opinion David Cook was the most deserving and was given the credit he deserved - what a talented, and might I add good-looking, singer! Now all I have to do is wait for his cd!!

This is rug...

Today I experienced a very proud moment as an English tutor! This may seem like something small to most but I pride myself in finding joy in the simple things of life - especially when it comes to things I am able to accomplish.

My main English student, Lida, is the daughter of my landlords. Last night as Ron sat downstairs talking with her and her family, they began to discuss the remodeling that they have been doing in their summer cottage and in our apartment. Lida speaks considerably less English than her parents, so Ron usually has no problem talking to them but struggles with her. However, as they grasped to find the word to describe the small piece of carpet on the floor Lida shouts out that "this is rug!" Unfortunately, I was not even there to hear it but Ron exalted her with praise and excitedly told me about it today although he could not remember the word. When I asked Lida about today at our lesson, she laughed as the recounted what happened and told me the word was "rug." I smiled as I realized it was one of our vocabulary words that we have gone over her and gave her the praise that was due for remembering. I was so proud of her and so thankful that God has given me this opportunity to actually pass on knowledge to another person. Lida has such a great attitude and a strong desire to learn the language and today I realized what a great bond we have formed as she jokingly chided me about my locked cell phone and my English pronunciation. Thank God for small miracles that keep us going every day!